Droid from Mars

And the iPhone is from Venus:

In the Droid’s new ad, Motorola gives us an array of candy-colored, bling-enrusted mobile devices and smiling fashion dolls and asks, “Should a phone be pretty? Should it be a tiara wearing, digitally clueless beauty queen?” Hell to the no!

Instead, if should be “racehorse duct taped to a scud missile fast” so it “rips through the web like a circular saw through a ripe banana!” Beware the rampaging Droid! It has GPS but it doesn’t even need it, because directions are for the weak! If the ghost of Steve McQueen had a baby with Captain Kirk, it would be this phone. It would have back hair and chew with its mouth open. This phone may have killed Tupac. As the ad explains, “It’s not a princess. It’s a robot.” It’s not a phone. It’s a dick with rollover minutes.

The whole post is gold. Feminists are funny, you guys.

“Be A Man! You’ll Need A Phone And Pants” Salon:Broadsheet